How to Speak About Someone Who Isn’t in the Room
A conversation turns toward someone who is absent. You know a detail you could add. Before speaking, you have a moment to consider what that detail would do.
Would it help someone? Is it yours to share? Is there a kinder, more truthful way to speak?
only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,
(Ephesians 4:29, NIV, excerpt)
This phrase sits within Paul's instructions about life together in Christ. Ephesians 4 calls believers to speak truth, turn from slander and malice, and show the kindness and forgiveness they have received from God. Love shapes both the content of our words and the reason we say them.
Choose words that serve
In an ordinary conversation, you might say, “I would rather let her tell that story,” or simply mention something good you know about the person. A gentle change of direction can be enough.
When a concern needs attention, truthful speech still matters. Bring relevant facts to someone able to help, protect, or respond responsibly. Care for a person's dignity and care for people affected by their actions belong together.
If you have shared something carelessly, you can acknowledge it, correct what was inaccurate, and seek forgiveness. Jesus' grace gives us reason to begin speaking differently today.
A prayer
Father, help my words serve the people they concern. Give me courage to tell the truth, wisdom about whom to tell, and kindness that reflects the mercy I have received in Christ. Amen.
Read Ephesians 4:25-32 in the NIV.
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Let your words care for people who cannot hear them.
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